


In Fear of God

by taxicab12



Series: more to me than you can dream [20]
Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: M/M, Mostly over the enemies bit, Pre-Canon, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:08:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26407756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taxicab12/pseuds/taxicab12
Summary: Nicolò shoved him.The surprise caught Yusuf only for a moment as he stumbled backwards, then he surged forward, slamming Nicolò against the wall, one hand pinning his shoulder. His anger, his hatred, felt familiar, even though it had been two years, two achingly long years, since they’d left Jerusalem together.“We are not invincible,” Nicolò said coldly.“If you want to leave so badly, then leave.”
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani & Nicky | Nicolo di Genova, Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Series: more to me than you can dream [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1878034
Comments: 12
Kudos: 186





	In Fear of God

Nicolò waited until they were alone to explode, anger hot in his blood.

“What were you thinking, agreeing to this?” He shouted. “We cannot help these people.”

“And why not?” Yusuf had not seemed angry before, but now he shouted back without any issue. “Why can’t we stay somewhere more than a night?”

“It’s not safe and you know it!”

“Not safe for who?” He scowled. “We can’t die!”

Nicolò shoved him.

The surprise caught Yusuf only for a moment as he stumbled backwards, then he surged forward, slamming Nicolò against the wall, one hand pinning his shoulder. His anger, his hatred, felt familiar, even though it had been two years, two achingly long years, since they’d left Jerusalem together.

“We are not invincible,” Nicolò said coldly.

“If you want to leave so badly, then leave.” Yusuf’s anger was as passionate as anything. Even like this, he didn’t sound cold.

Nicolò didn’t have words, couldn’t possibly explain how unacceptable that was to him. He could not ignore destiny.

He drew a knife.

Yusuf reached for his own weapon slowly, but Nicolò held his knife by the blade, offering the handle.

“Well?” He said. “If what you want is to kill me, then take this now and slit my throat. Don’t make me suffer any longer.”

“Nicolò...” Yusuf released him, his hand falling to his side. 

He dropped the knife. “Please.”

Yusuf brushed a soft hand against his shoulder. “Did I hurt you?”

“You know that you didn’t.”

“Why are you so against staying? Just for a couple weeks.”

“I am  _ afraid_, Yusuf.” He turned away, not wanting to look at him. “When I went on crusade, I expected to die. I didn’t want to, but I had made my peace, knowing at least I would be with our lord in heaven.”

Normally, when he said something like that, Yusuf corrected him, reminding him that it wasn’t his god. This time, he stayed silent.

“At first, I thought this was a blessing. Now I’m starting to wonder if it’s a curse, if  _ we _ are cursed.”

“If your life feels like a curse, maybe it’s because you’re not living it.”

“What?” Nicolò turned back to him.

“Nicolò,” Yusuf said his name softly. “We wake every morning somewhere new, never staying long enough ever to truly rest. We can’t keep running forever.”

“I’m not running!” He snapped.

Yusuf didn’t rise to the bait this time. “Yes, you are. Nicolò, what are you afraid of?”

He tried to fight the tears, but they came regardless. “Do you think God hates us?”

“No,” Yusuf said confidently. “Not at all.”

He wiped away the tears.

“Hey,” he put a hand on his shoulder. “Nicolò, I don’t want to kill you anymore. You are my friend and I have enough of your blood on my hands. I never want to kill you again.”

“I don’t want to kill you either,” he said. “Well, maybe a little when you snore.”

Yusuf threw his head back in laughter. “That’s more like it.”

“Do you really think we can help these people?” He asked.

“I think we make a better team than enemies,” Yusuf said. “I think we can do anything.”

Nicolò nodded. “Okay. But we’ll only stay for a week or two.”

They stayed three months. Nicolò had never before felt such joy.


End file.
